my life and my old self kinda link up.
realised im a different person frm who i was when i wasent yet corrupted by the complicatedness of the world.
i admit im more independent now.
bud also made more timid by influences.

self esteem as low as it can go.
clearly lack confidence.
happy positive vibe gone.
wads happening to me?

its like falling into a bottomless pit tied to a stone.
my only salvation.
laughing at things that amuse me.
if not to make me happy for a mere nanosecond,
then to brighten the world of those arnd me for that same amt of time.

my friends.
they are like the fuel to the flame burning inside of me.
without them i would just serve purpose as a mere empty shell.
Sec sch pals, sookie, sc peeps, classmates.
without u life would not be worthwhile.

True Love Never Alters

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

sch had never been or seemed so bleak.
all the joys and exhillaration i felt during those happy times.
all gone.
only appearing in small pockets of time.
when my friends are able to pry a sincere smile frm this reluctant grimace.

i feel like i disappointed everyone.
especially NC.
had so much faith in me.
bothered to encourage me.

was understanding abt those additional pressure.
up till now has not displayed any obvious sign of his disappointment.
i guess i really let him down.
im not proud of it.
bud the least i can do is to admit it.

obsession.
i realised i cant imagine a time without u now.
not now that im so used to ur pressence.
i wish i kept up that icy wall that tho was cold and lonely, could protect me.
regret that i had not stopped myself before things have come to this pass.
devastated represents how i will be like once u walk out that exit.
bud i take comfort in knowing its all for our own good.
and u'll be happy.
all i ask is that we keep in contact.