hmmz...how shld i describe what im feeling now?...is it confusion?...is it fear of not being able to keep my promise to sookie?...i dont wanna be a un-trustable friend...i really wanna keep my promise...u're my dearest friend shufen..

im afraid that we'd drift apart..now that orientation is over and i only see u during lit..not that we were in anyway close in the first place..but at least we talked occasionally...and that served to brighten up my day...im afraid u'd think that we're different now...that i cant be crazy anymore and have to watch what i do...

tmr it'd be all official...but i dont know if thats what i really want...even if i did...its too late to change things now...i really do understand now the meaning of regret...i really wish life had a backspace button so we cld all screwup less...

when it was announced today, my first thought was you..whether it'll change the way things are between us...already there are some major changes that occured...u do not know this but it really meant the world to me..with one sms u were able to take it all away..i hate you for that...

i am filled with anticipation yet a deep yearning for tmr to be over quickly..its not a particularly good day for me...monday is...but thats beside the point...i might have to give up something i love doing alot..it is hard..i did not expect this..

my head hurts...i'd have to go do my hw in a short while..if NC says anything abt it tmr i'd really cry...i think i buckle under stress...this is no good...plus i cant go traveling this yr..its bad luck for my dad..

things that make me happy

• ice-cream: any sort..the coldness serve to numb my feelings..
• music: songs that i can related to
• blogging and free writing
• hugs: big,humongous bear types
• talking abt anything and everything
• smiles,those that really come frm the heart
• you.just by being
• my fab friends
• dog-cuddles
• toothless grins of babies
• my computer...*muacks*
• coming home to my bed..stacked with pillows just the way i like it
• water: whether i need it or not
• sms-es: i cld grin abt it the WHOLE day..
• getting sunburnt: feeling of rejuvenation when the black skin peels off
• smell of fire: deliciously inviting..
• stars and rainbows...make me feel as if i were in paradise..
• kayaking:tho the water was really disgusting..i think i might just get enthu abt it enuff to wanna go kayaking on my own...
  i think my spirits have risen considerably after blogging..ppl who come...pls tag or comment kay..thnx:D